notes to people growing into themselves [2]
may you find what you need ❤
Hey love, this line about creating and control might have something for you. I dare say there’s no more control here than anywhere else. Perhaps as part of this experiment, you take off your ‘critiquer’ hat and let your work be one way — out. Almost like close your eyes and let your hands move. After the month, you can sort through what you ‘created.’ This means, little to no proofreading. You know, for experiment’s sake. :)
I’d say open to see that maybe it isn’t as easy for you as it was before to slip into that judgement space and that when/if you do, you don’t behave there in the same way or stay for the same amount of time. I think as you move through this growing awareness of the inefficiency of that kind of judgement, you’ll naturally do it less and less, until maybe only for fun 😉 . Once a better way is found, the old way doesn’t need to be fought off, it just fades.
It’s so cool to me that you notice this tension and are going forward anyhow.
Joe Campbell, “The cave we fear to enter holds the treasure that we seek.”
Or some sh!t like that.
There must be something really cool for you here.
I think, as we noted, there’s something to the cultural conditioning of not being cool with your own excellence. I’m excited to see where this takes you. One thing that’s been helpful for me in letting the love flow is now I recognize and know these things to be true (for me, anyhow):
- Greatness is relative. A plumber is great when you need one, but not that useful when you need a hairstylist.
^^This lets me appreciate my oddly eclectic set of skills and range of experiences, recognize they aren’t useful everywhere, and consider that they are quite useful in some unique circumstances (which seem to find me when I don’t judge what I’m doing v. what I think should be doing.)
-It somehow came to me that by not loving myself, I was sort of flipping off the world of people who don’t have what I have — a mind, body, and shot at doing something with my life. I’ve sort of taken on a guardian role of Shaylee (the weird combo of skills and experience) so she can do things for people who don’t have those things. It’s sort like saying, “Oh cool, I have this fantastic plot of land that I can learn to harvest to feed people who didn’t have the same luck of the draw.”
-Beyond that, it’s really, like you’re noting, just more effective. When I’m on the same team as me, I do things. When I’m not, I don’t. Some people won’t like that I like me and I had to become OK with that. What’s cool is that, maybe in this world or another, they might see the benefit and how much fun I’m having and decide to like themselves, too.
All time ‘off of the wagon’ is, if you let it be, great evidence as to why you like to be ‘on the wagon.’ It’s sort of like ‘back-stitching’ your conviction.
When you’re ‘off’, you can see and say things like, “Wow, I fell off. This was interesting. I noticed xxx and xx and xx. It seems like it feels better when I’m doing xxx. I wonder why. I know I’ll go back to eventually then, because I generally like to do things that feel good. I’ll wait until I’m ready though.”
The trick is to do this without guilt and shame because, objectively, what guilt and shame is there in learning a new skill? Let everything be info.
Hello beautiful!!
To support your growing confidence in center and self, I thought this would be a fun activity for you while you have downtime this weekend or while you’re in the air:
List 3 or 4 things for each topic:
- When have I known what was right for me even if it was different than what other people thought or said?
- Why am I a good woman and great person?
- How am I more comfortable now with not knowing what’s going to happen?
- Why am I confident in my ability to find what’s right for me no matter how many tries it takes?
- What is unique and interesting about me?
- Why do I trust my own path?
- What do I know and believe now that I never did before?
You can write back or just journal (in your mind or on paper!)
I work with clients at a metaphysical level to align their minds & lives with their unique genius. In 2 to 4 months, we can breakthrough limiting beliefs and connect you with your purpose, path, & power. You can learn more here or text 504–507–0488 to schedule an info call.