notes to people growing into themselves [5]
may you find what you need ❤
Yes. Love. Here you’re validating that not all thoughts are to be entertained. Thoughts have signature feelings to them. Think like voice tones. And some thoughts that come across our desk aren’t even ours. As you move into greater creativity (read: awareness and acceptance), you may get more info that isn’t yours.
Some may be quality (think Knowings) and some may be real but not actionable (think reading other people's emotions) and others may be complete trash (think movie lines on repeat). Start to see if you can tease out the way the thoughts feel. ❤
First of all, before you think you’re crazy, make sure you aren’t surrounded by a group of azzholes. I feel you on the play stuff and I think it’s probably more than fair to let yourself feel/think those things. Cause duh, they make sense. Second, Love, You’re brilliant. And your sensitivity to nuance is beautiful. And this dance with duality is not for naught.
If I may make a suggestion, I’d say consider experimenting with the idea that this tension is a passing storm. Which means, let it storm and stay out of it. Your mind is trying to solve an unsolvable thing. It’s not to say that understanding and acceptance won’t come, but right now,
***the data set you have isn’t allowing for you to piece together answers.*****
Info will only come when you’re relaxed. Divine info, that is. Otherwise, you’re just shuffling around the same pieces trying to make a picture. Butcha can’t.
**You need more pieces.*
So what if this time is NOT something for you to solve or fix, but just to bunker down and try to appease yourself, in whatever ways you can, until it passes. I think what we can start to do is create dedicated mind/spacetime work spaces. Work space for 3d doing. Work space for 3d thinking. Work space for 3d planning. Work space for metaphysical theories. Work space for knowing. Work space for being. Work space for xxxxxx. etcetc
Right now, all are happening at the same time — no wonder it’s a lot. At one point, it was probably helpful and necessary for everything to be swirling together. But now, as you bravely CONSIDER marching towards earth in your gilded tutu, it may serve you to let these things become freestanding departments with their own procedures and management teams.
Let’s let limits rest — at the limit limit (chuckle chuckle) and now let go of memories and/or meanings. It can be generalized or specific. “I let go of that time xx did xx, and also that being xx age means xxx.”
This is huge. ❤ All of this is basically practice for you to validate and note your own worth. Sure, looks and feels like sh!t, but that’s great growing soil. Your quality and value is NOT determined by other people and what they do or don’t notice.
Re: work: Recency bias is real. Meaning, he may have very well noticed and appreciated the work you were doing while you were doing it, but his brain might not be wired to recall that at the close of the project. People generally remember what happened last. If it was important to you, you could write a list of the things you did pre-surgery and bring it to his attention. “Hey, I heard you recognize xxx’s contribution to this project. Before surgery, I worked hard to complete these things (list). It’s important to me to continue to contribute meaningfully to the team and so wanted to emphasize the work quality and quantity product I’m committed to producing and hear if there were things I could have done differently to better set up (her name) for the final weeks of the project that I missed.”
It can be helpful to reverse engineer what allowed for you to go the gym. What happened at work that day? What didn’t? Did lunch or a snack make a difference? What was helpful while you were there? What did you like about the experience of working out?
I work with clients at a metaphysical level to align their minds & lives with their unique genius. In 2 to 4 months, we can breakthrough limiting beliefs and connect you with your purpose, path, & power. You can learn more here or text 504–507–0488 to schedule an info call.