the duck story [1]

It’s actually a play.

Setting: On earth, for the rumpteenth time and counting

Players: Some geese, a pizza palazzo, The atmosphere, & god

Well, a play without dialogue.

Ok so it’s just a story where I started with the setting and some characters. Not even all of them.

Here is a tail,

A long one,

It’s the start of the longest adventure.

So long,

In truth,

It’s the only one.

It began on a rain cloud.

Two geese were arguing about who would make the pancakes.

Charlie Mcdougal Duck,

The taller of the two,

Thought it was obscene,

Damn right implausible,

That he should have to slave over these fruit and nut concoctions that Darius Letronduck loved.

He was going on and on about how pancakes were exactly the thing that Darius did NOT need to eat if he wanted to be what he longed to be

— a svelte author on the east side.

Darius stopped listening to Charlie about 7.5 years ago.

In fact, he stopped listening period.

He had this great idea to rent out his ears to a pizza palazzo that was haplessly trying to stay in closer contact with its customers’ deepest needs.

They never truly heard what customers wanted.

Pine, apple, and lamb was a blaring disaster that newnews channel 4 blew out of the water for 5 dayszees straight.

Morning, night, noonnight broadcasts

& that’s just an example.

So the owner, this brustley guy named Tim who loved hip hop renditions of the Nutcracker decided to rent out some ears on the ground.

Darius just happened to read the ad in his automotive weekly rag and just happened to think it’d be a good idea to call and inquire.

That was the last convo he ever heard.

Tim told Darious he’d be the best-looking guy on the audio squad without even seeing him, of course, and Darius started signing the gosh darn contract immediately.

He’d been waiting to hear that very line,

That VERY line

‘Audio squad’ and all.

Not because he needed validation of his looks.

Everyone knew he was the most handsome thing in suspenders, even Tim,

Who knew without knowing how he knew.

But because his mom told him to be ready for the opportunity of his lifetime which would follow that exact line.

7.5 years later and Darius was sure nothing happened.

Nada.

Zilch.

Shit.

The only good thing he had going for him, besides knowing intimately what customers of Delita’s pizza palazzo wanted were these goddamn dried cranberry sun-roasted pecan pancakes that Charlie would make when the mood so struck him.