what are we ‘healing’?

episode 1 of ‘Let’s be h̶e̶a̶l̶e̶d̶ real.’

shaylee edwards
3 min readApr 14, 2023

Real over healed to emphasize the main point of the healing process — to be real, yo.

Authentically yourself. True to yourself and empowered to act accordingly, aware of your power and purpose in this divine unfolding.

What is ‘healed’?

Healed brings you to a state where you respond from the present moment as yourself, true to your highest desires with an open, discerning heart. That’s the destination. The destination is not in the past. We associate healing with what’s behind us. You cannot heal the past. It’s over.

Original photo, Treme, New Orleans 2023

What you’re actually interested in healing is the effect those past experiences have had on your beliefs, your concepts of self, and the ways that you respond to life.

Healing is *not* about coming up with ways to explain why you don’t have power. Healing is about recognizing and claiming the power you’ve always had so you can use it now and going forward. It’s a bit of a trip to realize your total freedom (and responsibility), but that’s the sensation you’re seeking.

That’s what you instinctually know is possible. That’s what you’re trying to unlock by healing.

Healing gets confused with being able to explain and understand behavior that doesn’t serve you. I spent several years doing that and it’s like having a cut on your knee and instead of tending to the wound, you spend your time talking about and reenacting how it happened, continually reopening the cut. I promise what you want is the ability to move freely with a healed knee. It’s not about the accident. It’s about restoring functionality.

It’s super easy to get caught up in looking behind and around you as you start to notice and resent that you aren’t standing up for yourself, following your passions, connecting deeply with others, etc.

When we start talking about healing, what most people think of are things in the big, bad trauma genre. Abuse, loss, poverty. Yet being unable to express fully as yourself is pretty traumatic, too. I know you can’t actually compare those experiences (I had my share of big, bad, trauma and it is not the same ❤). Still, what I’ll cover in this series can be used anywhere on that spectrum.

Most people have had low-grade societal trauma. If you’re riding the good ship earth right now, you’ve likely been trained to deny much of what’s natural to you. To sit still, act happy, be who your parents think you should be, look like these celebrities, pursue those accomplishments, spend your time in these ways, value (or don’t) yourself because…

We’re conditioned to deny our individuality. It’s a pretty subtle process and it ends up with us having a target of who or how we should be and feeling bad about ourselves for not ever hitting that imaginary, average-ized, profit-driven mark.

Continue learning how to heal with less strain (haven’t you had enough hard, uncomfortable stuff?) in this series!

The next episode has 3'ish and steps and tools to simplify your approach to big, bad trauma or the societal kind!

Visit me on Instagram, at habitbook.com or email me shaylee@habitbook.com

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