You’re pretty much a flesh computer
Stuck in a loop? Check your programs
As if life wasn’t strange enough, try this on for size — humans are programmable. Yup. You have been programmed, my friend. This operating software (OS) is likely running you and your life.
I say likely because, who knows, you might already be one of those empowered-in-the-present people. In which case your responses to life would be intentionally aligned with your desires and what’s correct for you.
If you aren’t there yet, you’re probably doing things both big and small that don’t match what you really want. How could you? Your programming is old, from people who aren’t you, and/or designed to keep you ‘safe’ in the familiar.
As a result, you could be reliving the same problems (in your life or head) over and over again. You might feel overwhelmed, uninspired, or just plain checked out. You might even notice you’re stuck in those patterns.
When I say patterns, I mean those feedback loops of life and you. You do something (or don’t) and life does something (or doesn’t). Or in the other order. Patterns are symptoms of programs. You might not be hip to the pattern, but you likely notice its results (or lack thereof).
Here’s a breakdown of a pattern of not doing what’s best for you in relationships:
Perceived cause: “I don’t say what I need or want.”
Perceived effect: “People don’t respect me. I end up doing things I don’t want to.”
The bad news with that last one is that it isn’t actually a ‘them’ thing. No matter how many times you’ve said or thought it was. It’s a ‘you’ problem. It’s a ‘you’ program. The good news is that ’cause it’s yours, you can change it.
Here the pattern that’s really at play:
OS cause: You don’t believe people can or will respect you.
OS effect: You don’t feel, think, act, or speak like they will.
See? Both you. Great news, huh ;) The underlying pattern is the result of how you’ve been programmed.
The problem OS code could say:
- your feelings aren’t important. Potential Code Error Source (PCES): maybe your parents weren’t emotionally available or stable.
- it’s not safe to be honest. PCES: maybe you got unreasonably punished for it once.
- life is about doing what you don’t want to do. PCES: maybe grandma said that every day.
- nobody really says what they think. PCES: maybe you watched a lot of 90s sitcoms.
Would you know you believe those things? Probably not. While we’re aware of some beliefs we /think/ we have, we aren’t aware of most of the ones in our OS. Mostly because our OS dictates much of what comes into our awareness, what we think about it, and what we think we can do in response. Can your OS see and evaluate your OS?
While a pattern seems visible, it’s really what you can’t see that is the pattern. They are patterns of perception and interpretation, basically the application of your subconsciously-held beliefs.
These beliefs constitute your OS and run your life automatically and often invisibly. They make decisions about what to perceive and how to perceive it based on who you believe you are, what you believe things mean, and what you believe is possible for you.
Many of the problems people consistently encounter are because of their OS. Programming includes beliefs about who you are which you learn in relation to other people, particularly as a child. You might have some like I did.
Here are two that kept me in some pretty unhealthy situations:
1. I have to adapt to things that suck.
2. It isn’t ok for me to have or express emotions.
Of course, I didn’t see those programs but they ran my life by filtering my experience and available choices. Yes, I definitely thought and said it was everything and everybody else’s fault first.
Think you have some not-so-great programming, too? Start by being honest about what isn’t working in your life, owning it, and becoming curious about what you must believe if you act/feel the way you do.
It takes a little willingness to undergo OS updates. They can be pretty uncomfortable at first. Just like with your phone’s OS, a big update will take a little time to get used to. You won’t do things the same way after it. Your perception will have changed and thereby so will what you see. It can be a lil awkward and unfamiliar.
Yet, if you know that the update is for your ultimate good, then it’s easier to work with the changes without being caught up in what was ‘lost’ or the discomfort of doing/being new.
Before you start to work with your OS consciously, you might be making on-top adjustments to your programs. It’s like adding programs on top of programs that don’t work so they can sorta work. These usually fall apart under strain or when the environment changes.
In my case, they busted at higher thresholds of success. My core OS included some hefty programming errors around what I deserved to have and that life was supposta hurt. Whoops.
Developing a presence practice can help you notice when things aren’t simple or natural. That would be a clue you’ve got some on-top adjustments that are compensating for underlying OS issues.
The moral of this story is pretty great. You’re in charge of your destiny. If you find you’re not generating results that work for you, you can do a lil work to find out what you need to believe for things to function better.
The fastest way to update your entire OS? Learn to love it exactly as it is. No kidding. This one belief — I love myself and my life no matter what — is unconditional love, the master code.